A Scene of Sloth

A Scene of Sloth

[The stage is empty. Still. It’s eerie. There should be so much stillness on the stage that the audience is afraid to breath. Each time this sketch is performed the SPIRIT will have to use his discretion. He may only speak when the tension in the theatre is exceedingly tangible. Then and ONLY THEN may he speak. Hopefully, his first words will shock the audience and he will elicit a few laughs and nervous chuckles.]

SPIRIT: [The SPIRIT is never seen. His presence is signified by a great booming voice that is at time obnoxiously loud and at other times insanely quiet.

>>>A Character Note<<<
The SPIRIT is not just a voice, even though that is all the audience thinks they know of him. The SPIRIT is merciful. (If you believe in a kind and benevolent God who acts as the Father and weeps for those who have fallen away and sent His only Son to atone for all the sins of humans, then you will have a fairly easy time imagining the disposition and complexity of the SPIRIT. For those of you who do not believe, my suggestion is that for this sketch, find a way to. ACT if you must – and the next time you have a free moment, look up Pascal’s Wager. I dare you.) Thus, the SPIRIT is all things – comic relief, protagonist, perceived antagonist, judge, executioner, plot twist, the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, the voice inside your head telling you that no matter how insane you think I am, there is a reason for you to keep reading past this character note... the SPIRIT must represent all that and more. He must not BE these things, but he must represent them. It is a said that good actor becomes his role. In most cases, this is true. In the case of the SPIRIT, it is not. The actor playing the SPIRIT must only represent the fact that the SPIRIT is everything in the previous list. If the actor becomes the SPIRIT, then the very essence of the play will be lost and you may as well burn your copy of this script… or just recast the SPIRIT.
>>>End Character Note<<<

[The SPIRIT’S voice cuts through the silence and shakes/shocks/scares/amuses/confuses/or has no effect on the audience (It which case, it is probably not being said right)] WAKING DEAD!!! [FRIEND 1 and FRIEND 2 are pulled swiftly onto the stage, as if by strings or a large shepherd’s hook. They are rather plain looking but, in the beginning, reek of life. They should move about the stage freely until the point that will be indicated in the script. Their conversation is not dull or extremely lively, but always remains at this comfortable yet soporific pace. It is the rhythm of their speech that is important. It must soothe the audience like a lullaby so that by the end, the audience wants to be asleep.]

FRIEND 1: What do you wanna do?

FRIEND 2: I dunno. What do you want to do?

FRIEND 1: I dunno. I’m bored.

FRIEND 2: Me too.

FRIEND 1: I’m almost too bored to talk.

FRIEND 2: Me too.

FRIEND 1: I’m almost too bored to stand.

FRIEND 2: I’m almost too bored to having this conversation.

FRIEND 1: I’m almost too bored to be tired.

FRIEND 2: I am tired.

FRIEND 1: Me too.  [As the conversation continues, the SLOTHS enter with long strips of cloth that, when indicated in the script, they will use to cocoon the two friends. Until that point in time, the SLOTHS flit carelessly about the stage.

>>>A Character Note<<<

The SLOTHS look like huge butterflies when they enter. Their wings are distractingly bright, and they use their mouth to wrap the two friends in the cocoons. At the point indicated in the script, their wings turn into large pulleys and they rig themselves together by the strands of cloth to cocoon the two friends even faster. When the pulleys are running there is this child-like (yet demonic) laughter.

>>>End Character Note<<<

The two FRIENDS do not notice the SLOTHS when they enter. They actually never notice the SLOTHS.]

FRIEND 2: Why are you tired?

FRIEND 1: I dunno. Just the way I am, I guess. Why are you tired?

FRIEND 2: This morning I thought about maybe doing something… like cooking breakfast for myself. And then I decided not to because just thinking about cooking made me tired. And then deciding to not cook made me even more tired. And then realizing that both those things had made me tired absolutely exhausted me. So I took a nap. I don’t know why I’m still tired. Maybe thinking about being tired makes me tired. [There is a pause in which they both consider this.]

FRIEND 1: You wanna do something?

FRIEND 2: Naw. Too tired.

FRIEND 1: Me too.

[The SLOTHS transform and they begin to cocoon the two FRIENDS from the feet up, their laughter filling the stage. They make quick work of the two friends who begin their conversation again from “FRIEND 1: What do you wanna do?” They continue as long as they can, until their mouths are covered. Eventually, two large, human-sized cocoons should be stand, very still, in the center of the stage.]

SPIRIT: Well, it seems that you never did decide what to do, children. If only you have taken one step towards actions… one step towards wanting a life, those butterflies would have never come. If you had just cooked yourself breakfast, maybe you would have the energy to break out of those prisons you are in. Would you like to be freed? Just make the slightest attempt to move and I shall make your bonds fall. Just the slightest movement, my children. One small movement… I shall wait for it, for I believe that you can move. I believe that beneath all of that idiotic drabble you want to be free. [The lights fade with excruciating slowness on the dismal scene. The audience should feel ashamed that they had been lulled to near sleep by the two friends. They should not be able to wait to get out of their seats so that they may go and do something – cook breakfast maybe. Finally, the stage disappears into blackness.]